Monday, February 2, 2015

My "Baby Sister" Speaks Up!



This is such a fun picture of me and Robin. This was taken about 8 years ago in Colorado. Robin is telling me while wagging her finger at me that I am NOT the boss of her. It was a special memory for me. Anyway, Robin is going to share in the next couple of days her story. I am blessed to have such a wonderful sister. In her own words she shares some thoughts about our story.

"As Jill's “baby sister”, reading her heartbreaking yet inspiring story is truly like reading insight into my own. It explains a lot, actually. Being five years younger, I have fewer clear memories of events in the early years. In fact, some details I hadn't heard until just this past year when Jill and I let down the walls and went deeper into our adult friendship as sisters.

Just this summer Jill told me about the night of the fire and how she protectively cradled me under her body to save my life. What a huge burden for anyone to feel responsible for the very life of someone else, let alone for a precious little girl! From the tender age of five she felt a calling on her life to be my personal guardian. Throughout our childhood, she became the closest thing to a mother that I had. She correctly stated in an earlier writing that she could cook, clean and do laundry and couldn't figure out why she would need a mother when she was perfectly capable of doing things herself. She had to. She stepped up when the responsibility was thrust upon her and she embraced her role as caretaker, nurturer, and protector not only for me, but also for my brother. She kept us in line as much as humanly possible as well. Without a babysitter or adult to keep the us safe, it was up to Jill to play the role of chief boss and UN peacekeeper amongst us, sometimes becoming a target herself. Although she was my sister, she carried the physical, emotional, and spiritual leader role in my life. She knew how to give me a talking to and “that look” as well as any mom out there! Simply put, her children had an experienced mom from birth. :-)

All four of us “kids” survived by coping with the trauma and chaos differently. We developed highly functioning coping mechanisms as a method of escape. (More on coping mechanisms http://changingminds.org/explanations/behaviors/coping/coping.htm).  I learned how to be a people pleaser; stay away from angry people and definitely don’t agitate the “Ragaholic”, avoid conflict, and hide (emotionally or physically) when necessary.  As much as I tried to stay under the radar and avoid things like bodies and other flying objects or becoming one myself, stuff just rolled downhill.  Between midnight raids, physical fighting and constant yelling, the house and it's people were constantly angry and in utter chaos.  It was survival of the fittest.  As an adult, I hate chaos and clutter which explains why my stress reliever now is compulsive cleaning.  Hey, it could be worse.  I also still hate conflict, shrink around angry people, and am fiscally conservative, a nice name for decidedly frugal. For good reasons." 
Tomorrow Robin will share where the neglect and abuse took her.
Till next time.
In Christ Alone,
Jill




Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

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