Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Lasting Memories

There are a few memories that have always stayed with me concerning the "HOME". The first is Christmas. Christmas morning was held in the small building to the right of this picture. It held the commercial washer and dryers plus long tables to fold all the clothes on. That was used Christmas morning for presents. I will never forget this one Christmas. We each lined up in the dorm room to go down and out into the laundry building. Once there we were assigned a place to stand at the folding tables. This particular Christmas there were 3 gifts. The one that stands out is a camera. Now back in the mid 60's a pocket camera was a really big deal. It came with two batteries and the roll of film. I was so stinking excited, I got a camera! The only problem was, once the 12 pictures were taken there wasn't anything else. No way to get the roll developed, no way to get any new rolls of film. I never did get it developed. I was so sad that I would never see the pictures. That has always stayed with me. We typically adopt a family secretly for Christmas and I can tell you that memory has helped me more than once in choosing a gift. I don't buy gifts that have to have anything done with them to ensure the happiness of the child.

Another memory took place out at the "pond" One day I was told to sit there and wait for someone to get me. A young couple came out and introduced themselves to me. They told me they wanted to spend the day with me. Apparently they were looking to adopt a little girl. So out we went for the day. They took me to a toy store. The place was awesome. They told me I could get anything I wanted. I picked three different things. I chose a doll, a slinky and a bouncing ball. I had so much fun that day. I felt like a kid having a great day. When the day was over I was taken back to the orphanage. Whatever "Aunt" there was at the time was furious with me. She told me that I was a greedy little girl, making that couple spend money on three items instead of one. The gifts were taken away and told they would not be adopting me because I was so greedy.

So, lets stop for a minute and think about the message that send that little girl all those years ago. First, no one would want to adopt you. You are not worthy. No one will want to make you part of their family. Then the greedy part. I'm not sure what you think a child would do who has nothing but underwear to her name being taken into a toy store. I came to realize that is why I have such a hard time when I hear that there are children out there needing a home. I was always quick to raise my hand because I didn't want another child to get the message they were not worthy.

What I learned from that experience is I AM WORTHY!  My worth doesn't come from anyone. Not my children, not my friends, and not my family. I am worthy because I have a perfect heavenly father who loves me more than I can imagine. He loves me so much that he was willing to give up his one and only Son to give me freedom.

It doesn't matter what tapes are playing in your head from your childhood. If they are negative tapes they don't have to define who you are. Let me say that again. Those negative tapes do not have to define you. Years ago, I chose to throw those old tapes away and add new one. I am worthy, not because you or anyone else says I am but because the ONE that really matters says that I am a daughter of the King. My worth comes from him and him alone.

Do you struggle with who you are? Do you have tapes that haunt you from your past? You can chose to lay those tapes aside, in fact you have the power to destroy those tapes and not let them rule your life. You my friend have great worth. DOn't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Tomorrow we leave the orphanage and start a chapter that I thought would be good. In truth, we were safer in the orphanage than where we landed next. Till tomorrow.

In Christ Alone,

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

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