Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Where Is God?

The question gets asked a lot, where is God when bad things happen? If you have ever experienced a loss that makes you drop to your knees then you have wondered about God and where he is. Is he going to show up? Can he hear my pleading for help? Does he care?  Am I just wasting my time? Those are all honest questions to a gut wrenching loss.

In the news there have been senseless shootings lately. For some reason it seems there have been quite a few the past few weeks. A child goes off to school and the unthinkable happens. They never walk back through their doors again.  What about the Dad who kisses his wife and kiddos good-bye and dies on the way to work? What about the parents that get terrible news at the birth of their child and as the weeks go by they endure the long good-bye?

Terrible things happen every single day whether we are touched by it or not. There are so many people who are walking around grieving that we have no clue about.  It may be the loss of their marriage or the loss of a dear friend. Where is God? Will he show up for me and will he show up for you?

I don't know why my life has been littered with loss. Most people don't ever have to bury one child let alone two. Most people get to know their Mother's at least long enough to remember them. I remember when Rich and I started our family. I begged God to allow me to live long enough that each of our children would remember me. I didn't want them to go through what I did. Thankfully God has honored that long ago request. I have now lived long enough that at least some of my grandchildren would remember me if I were to leave this earth right now.

Loss can either eat you alive or force you to grow beyond what you think possible. Did you know that the divorce rate for those couples who have lost a child is double what the divorce is for regular couples? Why do you think that is? The stress and strain of grief can be overwhelming. It can tear a couple apart instead of building a relationship stronger.

We as Americans don't really talk about grief much. In fact, we as a community are terrible at walking with grieving people. I remember a woman from our church came up to me about 2 months after our son David died. She wanted to know if I was ever going to smile again! Are you kidding me? Two months after the loss of a child only gets you to the point where you can breathe without willing yourself to do it, and that's only on a "good" day.

People can say stupid things without meaning to. I remember being told that God wanted another angel so he had to come down and take our daughter Celeste. I also was told by someone (all church members) that God said that all things work for good so our precious baby dying was good in God's eyes. Now I don't know about you but this is crazy talk. If God wanted another angel he didn't have to come down and take our daughter. He could have willed in his mind another angel and presto there another angel would be! What is good about a child dying? So it takes me back to my original question, Where was God, did he care? Why did it seem like he didn't show up?

Our lives can take turns in the blink of an eye. I am just one of many who blinked their eyes and their world turned upside down.  So what do I know?

I know that God loves me. Not just the kind of love that is a meaningless word. I know down in the very core of my soul that God grieves with me and loves me. I know that God loves every single Mama and Daddy that will go to bed tonight with a broken heart. I know that all the children around the world who will go to bed tonight without a parent are grieved over by God.

God did and does show up. He has NOT left his children as orphans. It may seem that way sometimes but that is just a lie from the pit of HELL. Every moment there is a battle for the souls of each and everyone of us. Satan is alive and well today. He wants nothing more than for those of us who are grieving to turn our backs and walk away. I am here to say I will NOT walk away.

There are many important lessons I have learned along the way. I cling to a favorite scripture of mine found in 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
"Blessed by the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

I have seen this verse come to life recently in my own life. Nothing that happens to us is wasted, nothing. We can take the lessons we learn and turn around and help someone else. We understand what it feels like when we experience _____________ you fill in the blank. When God shows up, and he will show up in his own time then there are  lessons we learn. I don't claim to have all the answers. These are all really hard questions. I know the journey I have been on and I know the lessons that I have gleaned from them but there are not easy answers. If someone spouts easy answers to you then don't listen. They probably have no clue what they are talking about!

That is my challenge for you today. If you are reading this and you have suffered a loss that God has comforted you in then reach out to someone else and comfort them. And if you have suffered a terrible loss and need someone to walk with you then please reach out. There are people who won't say stupid stuff and there are people who won't offer you easy answers but they will walk beside you. What ever the need is I am living proof that there is hope. Hang on to that hope till God shows up.

Blessings for the journey.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

1 comment:

  1. Amen! I know that your unique experiences have qualified you to be a comforter to certain other people, when very few are able to do so. You are SO valuable, and appreciated!