Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Gratituesday, Even Today

I typically write my blog post for Gratituesday the day before, but for whatever reason I didn't and for that I am thankful.

I have always tried to be real on this page,  not sugar coating anything. This morning I woke to the news that over 50 people have died in that terrible tornado, at least 20 are children. This morning there is terrible devastation in Oklahoma that takes your breath away.

This morning there are at least 20 sets of parents that are working on their child's funeral. I feel inadequate this morning in sharing my thoughts.  Through our experiences I can tell you a couple of things that I do know.

There are Hallmark cards out there that say something to the affect, "God sent for your child because he needed another angel" This one outrages me. God did not need another angel that he could not have created himself in the blink of an eye.

Another outrageous remark, "At least you are young enough to have another child" I don't want another child, I want my child that was just ripped from my arms back where he belongs.  I know people mean well, they just don't know what to say, so they say stupid things.

There is nothing worse than losing a child. Your arms ache, your heart feels like it will break in two. You walk around and wonder how people can be laughing when you just want to die. The other night we attended an American Heritage Girl graduation for our grand daughters.  Last year Serenity's co-worker and friend Amanda died in a horrible car crash along with her baby Sophia. There are just no words. Amanda's Dad came to the dedication of the cross over bridge that was built in her and Sophia's memory. Amanda's dad is about my age. I went up and gave him a hug just like I did a little over a year ago and just told him how sorry I was for his loss.

He told me the first six months he walked around in a trance. He could not believe he had just lost his daughter and grand daughter. This sorrow just washed over him a fresh. Fresh tears, fresh broken heart. There are no words, except I am so very sorry for your loss.

This morning when I woke up I turned on my music and the first song in the mix was Stephen Curtis Chapman's song Cinderella. For those of you who don't know he wrote this song about his daughters who were growing up so fast and the pressures of the world were weighing heavy but he knew life was short so he got up and danced when his daughter begged him to put away his work and just dance with her. He did a video of the song with one of his daughters. Not long after the video and song came out that little girl was killed in a tragic car accident.

So what is the message today? How do we comfort those who have lost a precious child, no matter the age? You hug them and tell them "I am so sorry" and weep with them. Those are the four words you need, nothing else. No other stories about how you understand their pain because you lost a grandma or a beloved cat, just I am so sorry.

Hug your children today, hug those you love today and tell them just how special they are to you. Live a life of gratitude with the realization that today is the only day you are promised. Don't waste a moment.


Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

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