Thursday, March 22, 2012

Crisis Mode

My precious readers. I am in crisis mode and will not be posting for a few days. I desperately need your prayers. You are a blessing to me. Your comments, especially anonymous have ministered to my soul.

Truly in Christ Alone,


Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

In the Beginning

In the beginning is where I need to start. However, to understand this story my beginning starts at age 5 not birth. I don't remember a blessed thing before that fateful day in September 1963. I think I have written about that day before so I won't repeat it.

What is important to the story is to know that I lost my foundation and compass that day. My Mom died that night along with all memories of her. That is a sad story but I don't tell it to make you feel sorry for me. I chose years ago to not be a victim. To turn tragedy into victory for the glory of God.

What is important about the story is this... I never had an example on how to be a mama or a wife. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wanted to grow up and have children. Actually, I figured no one would marry me so I decided that I would become a nanny to a bunch of wonderful children and that would be my passion.

So, how do you become a great mommy without ever seeing a mama do her job? That was easy. I would study God's word and figure out from the Bible how to be a good mama. I studied and studied and I prayed that God would guide me. In college I became a Bible major so I would be a good wife and mother.

I remember going into Jc Penney's with a girlfriend when I started showing during my first pregnancy. The clerk showed us maternity clothes and I was shocked. I had no idea there were maternity clothes. I had thought women who were pregnant wore hip hugger and flopped their bellies over their pants! Oh my was I ignorant. I bet that clerk went home shaking her head and chuckling about some young woman not even knowing the basics.

So my view of being a mama and a wife came straight from scriptures. I prayed over Proverbs 31. That was my ideal. A caring, nurturing and loving wife and mama. I tell this story so you can understand my thinking as this journey unfolds.

As I look back now I get why I do some of the things I do. I wanted my children to KNOW they were loved by the actions I did. I wanted my children to be nurtured because I knew what it felt like to not be nurtured. I wanted my children to have a firm foundation so I started reading the Bible to them as soon as they were born! Perhaps a tad early?

Since I didn't see a marriage up close growing up I read scripture and figured out how to be a great wife. I memorized scriptures like; "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church." Ephesian 5:22 or how about 1 Peter 3:1. "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct."

All of my beliefs surround scripture. While I did not lack in knowledge of the Word I lacked implementation. It is the implementation that has come back to bite me in the rump! Here is the question, how do you behave when life throws a curve ball? What if there aren't clear cut answers to how to behave when life turns difficult?

Lots of questions while I journey in the desert. I would love to hear your thoughts. Till next time.

In Christ and Christ Alone,

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

A Dry and Thirsty Land

I had decided to not write anything for a while till I had a conversation with a dear, precious friend earlier today. She said my honesty encouraged others. I wasn't totally convinced but it gave me food for thought.

I have had a difficult time figuring out what to write lately. I have felt like a woman wandering in the desert dying of thirst. What do I have to offer? How can someone who is in desert walking have anything to offer you?

Here is what my precious friend told me that changed my mind. If I am honest with you and share my struggles then perhaps you will be encouraged to remain faithful to the LORD when your journey into desert walking comes. What do I want for you my friend? I want you to learn from someone who is walking in the desert that there is still hope.

It doesn't matter what the struggle you face is. What matters is how you face the struggle you are given. We all have struggles. Some are given by God to help us grow. Sometimes our struggles are homemade. We make our own messes. Can I hear an AMEN? I have made plenty of messes thank you very much! But, sometimes our struggles are given to us by God to help someone ELSE grow.

So here I am walking in the desert and wondering how I got to be where I am today. I am learning many very difficult things that I will be sharing over the next few weeks and months. It will force me to be transparent and it hurts, but that will not stop me because I am hoping what I am going through will help at least one other person.

We will be looking at our roles as godly women in a marriage. We will talk about our roles as mothers and I will share what lessons I am learning. All in hopes of encouraging one woman. Maybe you are just the woman I am writing for.

In the mean time I continue to walk in the desert but not without HOPE! Even though I don't understand why my family is going through this nightmare I know to the very core of my being that God will provide the water for my thirst. Even though I can't hear him I can still trust Him. He will never and I mean never abandon His people! For today that is enough for me to know.

Always in Christ Alone,

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Thursday, March 15, 2012


Why can't I be like this beautiful eagle? He soars high above the fray. The view has to be breathtaking for this majestic bird.

Instead of soaring above the fray I seem to get stuck time after time down in the mud. My wings are dirty and caked with gunk. I can't fly like I want to. My talons are weak.

Why does life have to be this hard? Several years ago I read a book that changed me. It showed me that suffering builds character and draws us closer to the Master. I felt I was ready to actually ask for suffering and look what I got! Suffering. Oh foolish woman, you got exactly what you were asking for.

When I do soar the view is gorgeous. I can see for miles and miles. The air is crisp, the temperature perfect. I can glide above the clouds. It gives me perspective to be high above the fray. I am reminded that there is more to life than the lowlands.

Then, I slowly start to lose altitude. I hit the clouds and can't see. I lose perspective which causes me to sink back down to the lowlands with a mighty thud. On the way down my wings collect lots of gunk and when I finally hit bottom I land in the mud.

Why can't I continue to soar day after day? Why do I lose my perspective? Oh wretched woman that I am. Who can save me from the pit? There is only one, the ONE, the Alpha, the Omega who can clean off the wings of all the gunk that hinders my flight. Until that occurs I will wait.

Waiting forces me to slow down and be still. Waiting is hard when you want to "fix" the problems. Waiting though is the key. So for today I will cling to the promise.

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 (ESV)

In Christ Alone,


Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Today I am very thankful that Rich's wheelchair has finally been approved! It will take 3-5 weeks for the chair to be built so we are looking at the beginning of April. Our insurance will cover everything but $150. The chair cost $28K so we are blessed indeed.

The chair will fit Rich exactly since it is a custom chair. The chair will tilt so that Rich's shoulders will be forced back so that he can breathe better. His legs will be raised so it will take pressure off his spine. He will be so much more comfortable and for that I am truly grateful.

What are you grateful for today? I would love to know.
In Christ Alone,

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Monday, March 12, 2012

It's that little word ALL

"You shall love the LORD with ALL your heart, with ALL your soul, with ALL your mind, and with ALL your strength".

All is just such a little word. How could three little letters encompass everything? That word just leaps off the page for me. When I give my all to anything I throw myself headlong into whatever the all is. I stay single focused.

I remember when our kids were young I discovered the author Jeanette Oke. She wrote the book series Love Comes Softly. When that book first came out I bought it and read it and then read it again. I became so engrossed in her book that I paid little attention to anything else going around me. I would forget to make dinner, or read to my children. I even let the chores go by the wayside. I was so single focused that nothing else registered for me. Many books later I realized that my life was a tad out of balance! I knew I had to scale back my reading addiction. I forced myself to leave the books alone till the chores were done, dinner was in the oven and the children had mommy time. Then, I would pick up my current book to read.

Jesus tells us that what it means to love God with our ALL means to stay single focused. This was so radical that he even wanted the followers to leave their dead parents. Now I have to admit, that little exchange with the man in Luke 9 had always bothered me. My thinking went something like this. "You mean I just have to let my parents body rot in the house because I can't even give them a proper burial?" So, a little history lesson is in order.

Back in Jesus' life when a father died burial took place in two parts. When a father died the oldest son would put his father's body in a casket and then in a tomb. For the first seven days the entire family would sit "shiva" It was the morning period. They would not be out and about. They would spend the 7 days mourning for their father. When the seven days were up they left the body in the tomb to decompose which took about a year. When the year was up they would take what was left of the body out of the casket and put the remains in an ossuary which was a box for the bones. The box would then be buried for good.

Scholars think the man Jesus talks to in Luke chapter 9 is in the one year waiting period. If it had been during the first 7 days when the family was sitting shiva he would not have been out so they think it was after the first burial and before the second burial. Now that makes sense to me. We can't lose the point though. Jesus wants this man to just get up and follow him. Listen to what he says.

As they were going along the road, someone said to him, “I will follow you wherever you go.” 58 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.” 59 To another he said, “Follow me.” But he said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” 60 And Jesus said to him, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” 61 Yet another said, “I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.” 62 Jesus said to him, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.”

Luke 9:57-62 (ESV)

Jesus equates loving God with everything we are and hope to be to following Jesus. It's that ALL he wants. For a Jewish man he says to leave his dead father and go proclaim the Kingdom. To a woman in the 21st century he also says to give ALL. Think about that for your life and see what you can come up with.

Till next time.

In Christ Alone,


Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Friday, March 9, 2012


Do You KNOW God?

This past week our son Daniel has been home visiting with us. What a wonderful time it has been just to be with him. While driving in the car the other day I got a phone call from one of my sisters. In the conversation I had asked her if the person we were discussing knew God. I didn't really think any more about it till I hung up and Daniel said he had a question. He said that for as long as he could remember I had asked that question of people and was confused. He wanted to know why I ask that question of people. He said that the devil "knows" about God but that doesn't save him. Interesting question coming from my "man cub"!
When I use the term "knowing God" my frame of reference has absolutely nothing to do with having the knowledge concerning there being a God in the first place. When I use the word "know" I mean simply, "
Does that person have a relationship with God?" Everything, and I mean everything that matters in this world is this, do we have a relationship with Abba? Head knowledge is no substitute for a relationship. God is a jealous God and he wants our entire beings. It is that deep abiding that frames our "knowing God". Remember the Jesus Creed?
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.

Matt 22:37-38 (ESV)

So then we need to ask ourselves this. What does it look like to love God with everything? Ponder if you will and I will meet you back here next time. Till then,

In Christ Alone,


Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Thursday, March 8, 2012

It's All About Relationships

The Jesus Creed

Last time I posted we talked about the Shema. A creed of sorts that God's people would recite every single day. It framed everything in their lives. It reminded them each and every day that God Almighty wanted all of them and not just a piece of them. Their total lives were centered around God. It helped them stay focused on keeping the one thing the one thing! Jesus would have recited the Shema from a very young age. When Jesus had an encounter with any person who modeled the Shema.
The Pharisees were always trying to get Jesus in "trouble". They wanted to "catch" him not following the Torah. On one of these occasions a lawyer came to Jesus. Let's listen in:
And when the crowd heard it, they were astonished at his teaching.

The Great Commandment

34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

Matt 22:33-40 (ESV)

Now when Jesus says that these two commandments are the very foundation of all the law and the prophets it is time to sit up and take notice! When I read this I think about relationships. It is all about our relationship with God and our relationship with people. Jesus built relationships. He didn't come to amass a bunch of "talking heads" he came to build a relationship with each and every person he came in contact with. He came to be the "skin" of God. To touch each person he came in contact with. If we are to model who Jesus is to other people we need to also be the "skin" for God right where we are. We need to touch the people around us for God. However, we can't be the "skin" for God if we don't "know" God ourselves. Do you "know" God? Come back tomorrow and I will share with you what I mean by "know".

Till next time

In Christ Alone,


Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Tuesday, March 6, 2012


Well ladies, today is Gratituesday. A day we set aside to give thanks to the LORD. First let me say that I am grateful for anyone who comes and spends some time here with me. Supposedly, a successful blogger posts every single day, faithfully. I define success differently. If one person is blessed then it is worth it to come here and share.
Today I am very grateful for family. Our son Daniel got to come home this week. He left on New Years eve so it has been wonderful to have him home. I just love my boys!
I love watching God work in the lives of my family. God is faithful to his people and for that I am eternally grateful.

What about you? What are you grateful for today?

In Christ Alone,

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".

Thursday, March 1, 2012

The Jesus Creed

Good morning. I hope you woke up this morning with a word of praise to our LORD. Starting a day with the acknowledgement of the One who made us makes any day worth getting up for.

Our small group just started a new series that excites me. We are using a book called The Jesus Creed by Scot McKnight. The premise of the study is taken from the Shema.

I remember in the early days of our marriage Rich introduced me to the Shema. Perhaps you haven't heard of it?
Every good Jew would recite this "creed" if you will in the morning and in the evening. It was a daily reminder of how to live life. This would be the very first prayer that any child would learn. They spoke if it on the road, in their homes and even wrote it down and wore it on their robes as a reminder. In other words, this was the core of their belief system. Everything they did revolved around the Shema. It is found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Deut 6:4-9 (ESV)

After reading it, can you see why this is the very foundation for a relationship with YHWH*? Tomorrow I would like to share what Jesus had to say about the core of that relationship.

Want to join me? See you tomorrow, Lord willing.

In Christ Alone,


Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning Satan says, "Oh crud, she's up".