Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Me Selfish - No WAY!

Happy Wednesday to each of you. I hope you spent some great quality time thanking the Father yesterday. My heart overflows with great fullness each time I think of what the LORD has done for me. I truly stand in awe of the Creator of the Universe.

Most of you would agree that as a nation goes our families are in sorry shape. You don’t have to surf past the front page of the newspaper, magazine or TV news show without seeing the devastation brought on by marriages torn apart. .

Unfortunately, in our society, attitudes about marriages fall in the same category as old dishes. You know all about old dishes. When you first get brand spanking new dishes you just love the pattern. They are so pretty to look at. Each place setting is perfect with no chips or dents in them. Overtime though the pattern gets boring to look at. All you can see is the dents and chips. What do you do? Give them to Goodwill or just throw them out? Why bother keeping the old stuff when there are fabulous new ones sitting on the shelf just waiting to be picked up!

After all, we are a throwaway society. If our spouse no longer makes us happy then it is O.K. to chuck the old and bring in the new. Why should we suffer? We deserve the very best! Why should we have to have spouses that have lots of dents and chips? Wouldn’t the grass be greener on the other side? Our world screams at us to be happy and fulfilled and if our spouse is not making us happy then ditch him and find someone that will “fulfill our every need”. Enter Fabio!

What a lie from Satan. Satan wants us to believe that it is about us, everything and anything. When our spouse doesn’t meet our needs then he is a rat and you know what to do with rats, we chuck them out on the streets to be run over!

God’s plan for marriage is beautiful. God wants us to find a mate that will honor God and help us walk with the Lord. More importantly he wants us to model for the world his relationship with us. He wants us to model sacrificial love. The kind that put Jesus on the cross. Don’t get me wrong, only Jesus needed to hang on the cross so we don’t need to do that for our spouses, it’s already been done! But, a vibrant, healthy and loving marriage is salt and light in our community. It can and will be a testament to God’s amazing grace.

Can you imagine the influence the church could have in our own communities if we had strong, thriving marriages? I have believed for quite some time that if we as a body of believers took our marriages seriously we would be a beacon of hope and light to our communities. Our marriages should look SO different then the world’s marriages.

Our number one priority according to God is to make Him the center of our universe. In Deuteronomy chapter 6 it says this, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all of your soul and with all your might.” God wants to be first in our lives. He knows how we function since he created us.

Marriages fall apart for many reasons. Probably the number one reason is selfishness. We each want things our way and only our way. You could list things like in-law problems, money problems, kid problems, and work problems but when you boil it all down selfishness is at the root. Satan loves to mess with our marriages. He will do anything within his power to destroy what God calls sacred.

Selfishness will kill a marriage faster than just about anything out there. Listen if you would to the apostle Paul. “SO if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, and participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interest of others.” Phil. 2:1-4

This one scripture can take a lifetime of practice to get right. It goes against our human nature to think of others first. Just for today would you write out the scripture above and put it somewhere that you will see it as a constant reminder? This will be the foundation passage for other topics within our marriages. Till tomorrow.




  1. My whole blog, pretty much is dedicated to training younger women to love their husbands. I so wish I had an older woman training me. I could have had a much better marriage a long time ago. GREAT post! Thankfully, it is never too late to change it around.

  2. My husband is probably the most unselfish person I have ever met(besides my mother). Time & time again I have witnessed him wanting something & then finally buying it only to give it away before he has even brought it home! I ask him all the time..."why don't you ever let yourself have something YOU want." Sometimes he does, but rarely. He gets so much more joy seeing someone else enjoy it. Yes, Jill, if we lived by you, he would be bringing you anything he knew that you enjoyed:) I am so blessed! Debbie