Wednesday, February 2, 2011

A Weary Heart


Last week I was sick with bronchitis and this week I have pneumonia. It has given me a lot of down time trying to recuperate. I have found some amazing blogs while skimming down the internet highway. I am in awe of the many women who have been blessed with beautiful words.

I am just a simple woman who is trying to walk faithfully with the LORD and my husband. Many of you who read this blog know my husband is very ill. We are almost at the two year mark and we are no closer now then we were at the beginning to know what is wrong.

I wake up each morning thankful that my husband has been given another day. It is winter here in more ways than one. The sun hardly shines yet we know that the sun is there even when the clouds hide it. It is bitter cold, so cold that it can take your breath away. I still look at my husband sometimes and think, “How did we get here?” Will the winter never end?

My husband is keenly aware of what he has lost. At times it is easy to question God’s plan. He and I both don’t understand. God never promised we would “get it” here on earth. In fact the faith chapter in Hebrews says that none of those listed received what they yearned for but they KNEW they would someday.

Someday… This whole nightmare has made me wonder. Someday will I see the results of my life? Was my purpose evident to those around me? Did I use the gifts God gave me to bring the good news? Have I made a difference in the life of anybody?

Tonight I am sad and weary. Just hold my LORD while I cry and reassure me you are still here tonight. You Father are worthy to be praised.

3 comments:

  1. My heart hurts for you. Know tonight that you did make a difference in my life. And you continue to make a difference with your words and your faith...even across the miles. Praying the Father holds you tightly tonight.

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  2. Jill, you have made such an impact on my life. Just tonight, as I was balancing our checkbook, I thought of you, and I still use the system that you taught me years ago! I know so many who would rise and call you blessed, including myself. It pains me that Rich has to suffer in this manner, and we continue to plead for his healing! Praying for you tonight! Much love, Kisti

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  3. Father, pour out Your peace on Jill. Reassure her of Your love and grace, which hold her and Rich in all their todays, and 'somedays'. Allow Jill to see what we have seen - Your glory shining through her; yes, even through her weary heart. Refresh her, sustain her, comfort her.

    In Jesus' name, and through the power of the Holy Spirit, Amen.

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